Body Positivity - My Journey

Hello Beautiful People
and welcome to my blog.

All through the ages women have been doing their best to look pretty and alter their shapes. There was always one shape or size that at a given time frame was more attractive than others.



I dont know the history of women and body positivity but I do know how it feels to be in a body that dont have the desired shape.

Always an apple shape. Big bust and a "pregnant" belly.
No matter what size I was, I always looked pregnant. And I still do.

I have spent my life from I was 16 until I turned 40 hating my body.
I knew I had a pretty enough face, not stunning but pretty. My legs from my knees down are very strong and muscular and I've always liked that as my calves visibly flex as I walk.
My bust as I said is BIG and I learned very quicky to show it off to distract from anything else.

But that was it.. sad isnt it?? Spending so many years hating what I saw in the mirror.

What really clicked with me was when my daughter, she was only 12 or 13, started talking about hating parts of her body. My daughter is an old soul, she is wise beyond her years, but still she was influenced by what she saw and heard around her.

Nibbing this in the bud, I had a long chat with her about loving herself, about not being the same as others and to shine cause she is an amazing girl. To which she asked.. Why I didnt do all the things I just talked to her about..

I really opened my eyes about how I was treating myself. What kind of role model I was to my 3 children.



I started with small positive affirmations to myself. Like thinking a compliment when I looked in the mirror.. No I actually started by DECIDING TO CHANGE!!

Being a "glas half empty" kind a gal, I started to train myself to be more positive. Again starting small. When something came up, I let all the negativity run in my head BUT for every negative thing I thought, I forced mysef to find a positive as well.

I slowly started finding positive role models on my social medias. Most much younger than me, but it was/is girls who like me, have an apple shaped body yet they were proud of theirs.
I unfollowed everyone and everything that didnt uplift and motivate me.
And soon a new world opened up for me..

The change in mind and body did not happen over night. I didnt just wake up one day and feel beautiful. No. Some days I still hated my body but the hate was different. It was no longer a hate for a body part. It was a hate for the limitations my body had put on me. That I had put on my body.

If you have seen me on my YouTube, follow me on Instagram or my FB Page, you will know that around the same time I startede Martial Arts. After a long and gruling fight with Depression (Read my Depression story HERE) I found the courage to start something I had dreamed of most of my life.

Im sure someone along the way had told me that working out do wonders for mind and body but I never heard it. Martial arts was the true turn in my life.

I finally found something I enjoyed doing so much that the excuses fell away.

And here lies the KEY!!

Finding something I loved doing so much, spurred me on to do MORE things.
(Again as I said, this all happened over a span of years, not days, weeks or months.
My journey is now many years old, 4 from when I started Martial arts, but many years before that.)

I started going to the gym to get stronger at martial arts. Im often the only adult woman in the club so it was a case of slapping on the confidence to prove I have what it takes and getting stronger meant that I could and can now throw around grown men.

For years I had wanted to loose weight and was convinced that my happiness lay in a smaller number on my scales. I fought so hard and failed every time I tried loosing weight and over the years I have developed what I can only personally class as an eating disorder. (This is not a medical diagnosis, this is my own oppinion) I have a mental block regarding my weight and weightloss and every attempt to loose weight ends in my mental health taking a drastic turn for the worse that can last months.

As the years have passed by I have learned that my weight do not define me. The number on the scale is just that. A number..
My worth do not lie in the size of my jeans, but in the size of my heart.

Yes I am a big girl, Yes it limit somethings for me and makes me much more prone to injuries, but I have learned to work with what I got, To focus on eating as healthy as I can, to strengthen my body.
And one day, (and maybe that is today) my weight will be just that perfect number, whatever that number will be. (I dont know & dont care as I dont weigh myself anymore)

Body Positivity is about seeing your worth. To look at yourself in the mirror and admire your good as well as bad parts. Courage it wil take yes, but finding your courage, will in turn lead to a raised confidence and a raised confidence will lead to body positivity.

Its a circle.

I will leave you with my first ever full on snap that showed my belly. I shared it online and the feed back was so positive.

I now often prance around on my YouTube channel where when I try clothes you can see the outline of my belly. I no longer feel the need to hide. I no longer feel im unworthy.
I feel empowered and blessed to have this big beautiful body with which I can help others feel amazing in their bodies.

And that is it for this time.
Thank you for popping by and for any comments left behind.
Marleen

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please contact me on
marleengallagher01@yahoo.com
(please note I live in the Republic of Ireland)